I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize