I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
