All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
True strength comes from lack of pants
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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