I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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