Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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