He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
