um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
