they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
