Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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