she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
