i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
