Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
