My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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