Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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