Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
