He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
