I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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