That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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