My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
