he wants to bone in the snuggie
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
