She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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