Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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