He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
