i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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