I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
