he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
