I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
