i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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