I need to stop coming to work sober
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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