I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
