we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
