Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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