Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
