I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My ass is underappreciated
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
