your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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