so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
