R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
