that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
