just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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