she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
