you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
