Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
youre lurking in front of me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
