And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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