My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
not ubering you a puppy
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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