Nicole vs. Life
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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