I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drake has all the answers
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
