I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
