I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
