If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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