I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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