Bisexual people are plain selfish.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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