I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
