I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
