With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
