i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
