hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ketchup is God's man juice
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
