So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
