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Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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