He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
