On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You smell like stripper and shame
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
