This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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